UN: Iran Months from Nuclear Weapons, Recommends Wait and See

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Muhammad ElBaradei of the IAEA (Motto: Hear No Evil, See No Evil), has confirmed Israeli assessments that the Theo-totalitarian state of Iran is within months of possessing nuclear weapons. El Baradei says the IAEA is concerned about the situation, and he's ordered another round of intense thumb-twiddling, and issued this stern warning to the Ayatollahs.

"Awww.. C'mon! PLEASE get rid of your nuke program? PLEASE!"

ElBaradei said that tactic they intend to take with Iran has been perfected by dealing with North Korea. "Look how that turned out," says El Baradei, "They develop nuclear weapons, we buy them off with food and energy supplies, than they start developing them again! It's a win win scenario." Last Friday, El Baradei spoke in Haifa, encouraging an Israeli crowd to support negotiations saying, "Its not like they've publicly threatened to wipe out one of their regional neighbors or anything."