Secretary Rice's Itinerary Revealed

6:00-6:30 Wake up. shower, brush teeth, do hair,

6:30-7:00 Wash hands with soap and water.

7:00-7:15 Morning Briefing

7:15-8:30 Conference Call with El Baradei on Iran Nuclear Standoff

8:30-9:30 Go shopping (Remember: Cereal, Milk, Cheese, Bleach for hands)

9:30-10:30 Wash Hands

10:30-11:30 Say Nothing supportive for Afghan Christians

11:30-2 Working Lunch with British Undersecretary

2-3: Photo-op with Danish Ambassador: (Dos: talk about being tolerant, Don'ts: Say anything supportive of ally, doodle pictures of the prophet)

3-6: Conference with Iranian Counterpart about Iraq (Talking Points: Nuclear Proliferation won't be tolerated, except by the UN and all its member states, importing weapons and explosives to kill american soldiers isn't cool, but not casus belli either, interfering with america's efforts to support democracy will be tolerated (Tolerance=important)

6-11: appointment with belt sander

11-:Bedtime